Are you a dumper (at the Op Shop or in life)?
As the new CEO of Chapel By The Sea Mission I wanted to say hello and that I’m very honoured to be given this role. In the last 2 weeks I have learnt a lot about the workings of our Mission.
One thing brought to my attention is that every week some people dump rubbish at our Op Shop and then we have to pay to have it removed.
This causes me to reflect that in life there are those who are dumpers and those who take responsibility for their unwanted baggage finding places for things to be re-used or disposed of thoughtfully. This also applies to people who dump their emotional anger and upsets onto the closest person (or people they love most), or blame others for their mistakes or discontent. It is a very easy habit to get into and it takes real effort to stop.
I searched the thesaurus for the opposite of dump or unload and there is not much there - 'Burden' seems to be the most popular, but 'Burden' is not the right word. When you take responsibility for your upsets and mistakes it becomes liberating because you are no longer at the effect of those patterns or triggers that might be keeping you stuck. Asking yourself “What can I do differently next time?” is a great way to learn. Blaming keeps me stuck and pushes people away.
Sometimes we do need to emotionally unload but the difference is to be very clear that this is your stuff not the person you’re looking at. If I’m feeling frustrated I will often ask someone I trust if I can unload, that is, have a good whinge! I choose someone that I know won’t make what I’m about to say mean anything or use it against me later. I even ask - ‘Do you mind if I have a good whinge/unload?’. And typically I get it off my chest and feel better. Often it causes me to get clearer on an issue and allows me to work through a problem more constructively.
A great teacher taught me that ‘life works to the degree I take responsibility for it’. For this to work I have to practice it day by day, hour by hour, moment by moment because I don’t always get it right. And I know I don’t because when I do blame or dump my feelings on someone else I’m left with a bad taste in my mouth. All I can do then is apologise (yes I have a very patient husband and daughter).
Just to clarify our Op Shop (Corner of Niblick & Warner Ave) would love to receive your ‘No Longer Loved Goods’ - Goods being the most important word.
Cheers,
Liana Di Stefano
[email protected]
Liana Di Stefano joined our Chapel By The Sea Mission on 28th October as our new CEO. She has responsibility for the business and programs side of our Mission reporting to Rev John Queripel and Church Council.
As the new CEO of Chapel By The Sea Mission I wanted to say hello and that I’m very honoured to be given this role. In the last 2 weeks I have learnt a lot about the workings of our Mission.
One thing brought to my attention is that every week some people dump rubbish at our Op Shop and then we have to pay to have it removed.
This causes me to reflect that in life there are those who are dumpers and those who take responsibility for their unwanted baggage finding places for things to be re-used or disposed of thoughtfully. This also applies to people who dump their emotional anger and upsets onto the closest person (or people they love most), or blame others for their mistakes or discontent. It is a very easy habit to get into and it takes real effort to stop.
I searched the thesaurus for the opposite of dump or unload and there is not much there - 'Burden' seems to be the most popular, but 'Burden' is not the right word. When you take responsibility for your upsets and mistakes it becomes liberating because you are no longer at the effect of those patterns or triggers that might be keeping you stuck. Asking yourself “What can I do differently next time?” is a great way to learn. Blaming keeps me stuck and pushes people away.
Sometimes we do need to emotionally unload but the difference is to be very clear that this is your stuff not the person you’re looking at. If I’m feeling frustrated I will often ask someone I trust if I can unload, that is, have a good whinge! I choose someone that I know won’t make what I’m about to say mean anything or use it against me later. I even ask - ‘Do you mind if I have a good whinge/unload?’. And typically I get it off my chest and feel better. Often it causes me to get clearer on an issue and allows me to work through a problem more constructively.
A great teacher taught me that ‘life works to the degree I take responsibility for it’. For this to work I have to practice it day by day, hour by hour, moment by moment because I don’t always get it right. And I know I don’t because when I do blame or dump my feelings on someone else I’m left with a bad taste in my mouth. All I can do then is apologise (yes I have a very patient husband and daughter).
Just to clarify our Op Shop (Corner of Niblick & Warner Ave) would love to receive your ‘No Longer Loved Goods’ - Goods being the most important word.
Cheers,
Liana Di Stefano
[email protected]
Liana Di Stefano joined our Chapel By The Sea Mission on 28th October as our new CEO. She has responsibility for the business and programs side of our Mission reporting to Rev John Queripel and Church Council.